In her shoes..

I hear many times people say: Put your feet in someone else’s shoes. That’s how we feel what someone else feels. I was previously blind about that term. BUT Since I was little girl, people all the time come to me and tell their stories. Don’t ask me why they do; even I never know for sure why they have to pick me. Time goes by and here I am now, find out the 21 year old me still do the same thing, listening people’s story:D. For me personally, I’m okay with that thing. I enjoy my role as good listener and adviser. I love my part as a shelter.

I love listening people’s stories. I learn a lot from them. At the end of their stories, I usually conclude something. I feel sorry for their tragic stories and promise to myself to be more carefully run my life. Experience is the best teacher. But it doesn’t have to be my own. In many times, I also meet great people with heartwarming and inspiring stories of life.

Commonly, at the end of our sharing session (between me and my ‘client’), I receive comments like ‘thank you so much. You understand me a lot. That’s all I need’. Or thing like: “thank God. That’s helpful”, and “thanks for being there for me”. When I hear people say that way, I feel so honored and happy. All I need to do is giving some minutes –sometimes one or two hours- from my 24 hours. That’s simple and I can make someone feels better.

However, there are also times when people close their stories with the words “you just don’t know what I feel!” Or things like: “you could never imagine being me” and “you’re thin. You don’t know how it feels to be an ugly fat girl”. Okay, to receive that such comment is pretty hurting. I remember one of the worst you-don’t-how-it-feels-like moments. One day, my best friend came to me to tell her story. She and I had a different idea in viewing the problem. At the end of the sharing session, she cried, yelled at me, told me that I was not her best friend and then just walked away, leaving me in a wretched and hollow feeling.

Ok, my best friend joined you-don’t-know-how-it-feels-like club. It hurts me so bad because I have tried my best. At the moment, I just realized that it is really hard to be in her shoes. Shoes are very personal and so is some one’s feeling. No matter how hard I try, I can never really feel what she feels. What my best friend has done was not entirely wrong, although she showed it in a frantic manner.

After spending some times thinking about this little yet complicated problem, I then can perceive something. When people come to me and share their stories, understanding them is important. But actually, I don’t have to try too hard. For me, my most important thing to do is providing my time, my attention -and my ears- and let them sharing.

If they think I help them, it will be great. But if they don’t, I should not take it too emotionally. Everyone has their own idea in viewing something. When we, people and I, have different point of view, then we must see it as something normal. If my suggestions fit with them, I’ll be glad. If they don’t, I shall not be sad. It doesn’t mean that I am bad listener. It only means that we are different. The most important part is, each of us have done our job. They tell the stories, I listen to their stories. I now never push too hard to act as good listener. There are still some moments when people say to me ‘you don’t know how it feels like!’ but i'm perfectly fine with that.. I’ll acknowledge that maybe I can’t understand them that well. and I will wholeheartedly realize that my suggestions are not the best ones. That’s okay. I learn one more things. Even so, a fact that sometimes I fail to act a good listener doesn’t lessen my passion. I still enjoy my part as a shelter after all…. And by the way, me and my best friend (who used to yell at me and joined you-don’t-know-how-it-feels-like club) are fine now